I could see everyone feasting their eyes on this feisty little blond who was happy to share her view on my noodle. ‘It’s a pathetic, shriveled, microscopic ugly little worm!’ she screeched, ‘and I never want to pick my teeth with it again!’ And with that she turned on one shapely heel and stormed out of the room. You know the old adage – if you throw enough shit some of it will stick? Well, she’d just flung a complete fucking sewage works at me and I was covered in piles of ordure. Jesus! I looked around the room and was met with a sea of gleeful faces, and my heart sank. I knew that tomorrow some smartarse would christen me Tiny Tony or Wormy Wilson and the name would stick, and the story of Bec trumpeting my tiny, weeny little tool to the world would grace dinner tables and be the butt of jokes at my expense for years to come. The bar was silent and I saw they were all looking at me. God, if only I was clever with words. I needed someone to defuse the situation, to turn the. "I took the cooking pots off him, they were heavy and I was only just ableto carry them with the frying pan and yet Will had carried them as ifthey were made from paper. "Just a minute, if you empty the watercontainer, that will make it lighter and the lemonade and beer you canwedge between some rocks in the river to keep them cool. Nobody is goingto steal them. Leave the plates and mugs, there's loads on the ship andwe are coming back here."When I got to the boat the tide had gone out and the water was half waydown its length. I dumped the pots in and put my shoulder to the stempost but I couldn't budge it, apart from the weight, the wet sand wassucking on the keel. I gave up trying and walked down the boats lengthuntil I was knee deep in the sea and I reckoned that the stern andpropeller would be clear in which case I could use the engine to pull theboat free. I continue to the stern and now the water was above my waistso I took a deep breath and ducked under and ran my hands.
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